Help! Twilight Movie at Sleep Over Birthday 10 yr olds

[Lora]

I need help from you Twilight girls. Brittany is invited to a sleep over birthday party for Saturday night. We already accepted and she is excited. Tonight just minutes ago she asked if she was allowed to see Twilight because they are watching it at the party. UGH! My first instinct is NO! She has trouble with bad dreams and ending up in our bed after them. I would probably be more open to swearing or sex even, but this movie looks from the ads like it might scare her. She turns 10 and that all important 1/2 on Sunday.

Please tell me is this movie something you think is appropriate for 10 yr olds?

She is upstairs crying and mad at us. She told me she won't tell me about things like this in the future. I told her that is her choice but I hope she understands we're not trying to be mean but want to keep her safe, healthy, and happy. I told her I would do some research (ask here, and also ask another mom of a another girl I know well who is also going to the party, and another mom who has a 15 yr old and 10 yr old because apparently the 10 yr old has seen it and she knows Brittany and I know her pretty well to get her thoughts).

Help me PLEASE! I hate it when someone puts us in the position of trying to do what is right for our child and having it make us seem mean to the child and also potentially embarrassing the child say if they change the movie for HER or we have her come home when they are ready to show the movie.

[carseatmom]

Its not scary at all. Only part that she might even be slightly scared at is the fight scene at the end and even that's not bad especially on video. Logan has seen it at 5. I think she'd be fine.

[sarah]

Jen's right. Laura saw it at 11 and I probably would have let her see it earlier. I would suggest you watch it yourself if you're really concerned. Our library has it.

[mobetsy]

I haven't seen it, so I have no clue. However, I think you need to be prepared for this to be one of those occasions when being a parent is no fun because you have to be the "unreasonable" bad guy. If you find yourself in that position, you might call the mom and talk directly to her. It's a PG-13 movie, right? I do sort of wonder about showing that at a party for 10 y.o.'s, just on general principle; probably not be necessary to wait until 13, but 10 is pushing it for a party (in one's own family is a different matter).

[holliejjj]

it's like people try to push their children to be little mini teenagers so soon these days. I have no problem with someone choosing for their family that this movie is okay and watching it together as a family. I do have a problem with them watching a PG13 movie at a sleepover for 10 yr olds! It's not a movie or book that my girls will be viewing. Not because of it being scary but other things. I don't know what I would do.

[Sandy]

I agree with JenE & Sarah. It's not scary. Kylie & Rachel both watched it last year when they were 7 and 9.

Like Sarah mentioned you could watch it yourself first. Then you would know if it's too scary for her. If it is something that might cause her to have bad dreams you could talk with her about it and she may not want to see it. Problem solved.

[Lesley]

I agree with what Betsy said, and Hollie's take - in your own family it's your choice and it's fine. But when you're having a sleepover w/10YOs then you stick with something that would not be controversial.

[April]

I am with the others. I have just allowed Haley (almost 11) to read Twilight AND I plan on viewing the movie WITH her. Though, I would not want her to see it in the scenario you mentioned. FWIW, I think it is irresponsible of the parents to NOT mention that this PG-13 movie would be shown at the sleepover in the first place!

[RhondaS]

I'm going to agree and disagree. It's not a scary movie at all, I just do not feel it is appropriate for 10 year olds. It's a love story, and they are 10. That's just too young to be exposed to all the emotion, sex (even though there is nothing inappropriate in it), just the whole thought of true love. I admit Sami has seen the movie, but she is 12. And I have not allowed her to read the books yet, because I just do not think it is necessary at her age. It's so complex, the feelings, the emotions, all of it, and there are so many other good things out there that are appropriate for her age. Why start thinking about "true luv" yet? You know, I LOVE the series, and I'm not in denial about kids these days, believe me, but why rush it? They are little girls!

Anyway, unfortunately it's not the last time you are going to have to make the tough decision about what's right for you and your family, and it doesn't get any easier. You'd think parents would make things easier on each other by not showing inappropriate things. Sorry you are in this position. Sometimes we can't win.

[Lora]

I watched the trailers last night and honestly they were pretty intense! I just am not sure she could handle it especially at a sleepover.

I think if she was 12 or even 11 it would be better. I am frustrated because this is a divorce situation and the party is at Dad and Stepmom's house. I have been emailng with another mom and she said she and her DH watched the trailers last night and their daughter will not be going if they are watching that movie. So at least I am not alone in my discomfort, BUT I was hoping the parents weren't aware of the plan of the girl. The mom I have been emailing with said that her DD said the Stepmom picked the movie. Sigh....

Because the other girl's parents were friends with the family/neighbors and the divorce wasn't easy (he had a GF now wife), I'm not sure how well a call from them would be but they are willing to call. I said I don't mind calling, but I have to admit being uncomfortable especially knowing now that the stepmom picked the movie! I think she's trying to be cool and liked by the girl. Ugh...

I thought of approaching this with humor, "How big is your bed, because you might have girls in it with you after the movie." Sigh... I will pray about this and see what I should say.

[carseatmom]

Lora, you cannot judge the movie by the trailer. Its a trailer, its meant to make the movie look exciting and intense. Quite frankly, the movie is so far off from the book its unreal, and its kind of poorly done. Really its not that exciting. Don't get me wrong, I'm a twilight junkie, and I like the movie, mostly because it's twilight LOL. But its not at all like the trailers make it out to be. You can easily get a hold of the movie. Go get it and watch it, or even part of it and then decide.

[wanda]

Can't stand it when parents do things like that - we went through it multiple times with both kids. The worst is when you didn't know gory horror show, seems like rated R, is being watched at a 10 year old's Halloween birthday sleepover......was I ever pissed! Watch the movie yourself and do what you think is right.

[Esmeralda]

I agree that you should watch the movie first and then decide. Emma and I watched it from the library (she is 11). I agree that it should not be part of the sleepover. Sigh.

[Lora]

I don't believe I will need to call. I think the girls are figuring this out themselves which makes me happy because I didn't want to call but also because that is part of the goal of raising our children to think and act on their own. Brittany knew A couldn't see the movie because I connected with her mom on email last night and A knew Brittany wasn't wanting to watch it either. I think they felt less peer pressure knowing they weren't the only ones not ready for this movie at a sleep over. A is a really good friend of the birthday girl and told her those two wouldn't be able to watch it. Now it sounds like they are going to watch something else.

I was talking to A's mom just now to see what she'd been told because I don't think I need to call now and wanted to verify what A told her. So I asked her if she knew who else was going to be there. One of the names that came up (G) I know wouldn't be allowed to see anything PG13. G's family is VERY strict about such things to the point where my own daughter thinks she isn't allowed to have fun, lol. G's mom is VERY comfortable in telling others what they allow so AND G is very outgoing and outspoken and would be a girl to tell them she is NOT allowed to see the movie. So, sounds like I don't have to do anything now. YEAH!

I would bet in a year or two Brittany will be interested in seeing Twilight and will enjoy it very much, but I don't think she's in any hurry to see it at this point other than not to be left out.

[carseatmom]

Glad it worked out and Brittany still gets to go to the sleepover.

[ann]

Oh good, I'm glad it all worked out.

You know, things like this are hard. Different families have such different guidelines when it comes to media. It can be hard to find something that everyone can agree on.

That said, I'd have no problem with my kids seeing Twilight. Avery and Noelle have both read the book.

[sarah]

I'm glad you worked it out. I agree with Jen on the movie, it was poorly done and nothing like the book. I actually got into the series because the movie was so poorly done I couldn't figure out what everyone was talking about! Johannah and Laura both thought it was really poorly done too. The director was the same director for The Nativity and I LOVE that movie, I can't figure out why she did so poorly with Twilight. When you watch the director cut she's even talking about, "well, we weren't sure what to do for this scene, so that morning I _____"